Code Of Silence

Codes that were often used in the gay community were not often used in Halifax as far as I remember, but there were those few that used them. The one that I remember the most was the KEY CODE; wearing your set of keys on your belt or belt loops, on the right ( Active (TOP ) ) or the left ( Passive ( BOTTOM )) or ( middle of left ( Actively Passive )) ( or middle of right, middle meaning from the buckle to the side seam of the pants, ( Passively ( Top )) or ( Actively Passive )) to which the latter just meant you were both but had a prefered position. The Key code was not such a silent code in some cases, one person whom I knew well had so many keys on his belt that when he walked around the floor the movement of his hips made you think that you had jumped from summer to winter and Santa's sleigh was on its way.

The HANKY CODE which was much quieter and colorful was so easy to disseminate in the beginning and even then confussion reigned

Black: S & M Dark Blue: Fucking Light Blue: Oral Sex Brown: Scat Grey: Bondage Olive or Khaki: Military Scenes Pink: Toys Red: Fisting White: Wanking Yellow: Golden Showers Purple: Piercings Mustard: Big Cock Green: Hustling Lavender: Drag, Cross Dressing Orange: Anything Anytime (L) or Nothing Now (R) ( or reversed on the east coast ) ( Canada only maybe ) Beige: Rimming Charcoal: Rubber Red and White Stripes: Shaving

Right meant Active or (TOP) and Left meant Passive or (BOTTOM) except on the west coast where it was reversed order in most cases and most of the code above I do not remember being used in the Maritimes. I always assumed that there were only 10 colors used in the beginning but it was such an ambiguous code and changed depending on where you live. The code got even more confusing to people as time went on and checks and stripes in various colors were added. Years later after I had moved back to Halifax from Toronto I was invited to a party in the Annopolis Valley. It was a nice outdoor party at a well known valley man's house and there were many people there from all over. I was used to being quiet by myself but mingling through the crowd and having smalltalk here and there but for the most part I noticed that people were avoiding me to the point of extreme. I was wearing a HANKY on this night and finally a guy looked at me and said: " YOU ARE SCARY !! ". Taken a bit back but curious as to why he said this " I asked ". He said that he had not met anyone that was into S&M before. Telling him that I was not into that he asked:" Why the BLACK HANKY ?? ". Laughing loudly , I explained to him that if he looked closely, it is " Black and White Check " and that it means ( Safe Sex ) and we all know now that the right term is ( Safer Sex ) but anyways; we had a good laugh and carried on a talk for a long time. Later we went for a walk, and talked some more and we became friends.