The Asshole Monologues

“I thought ‘The Asshole Monologues’ could do for the anus what ‘The Vagina Monologues’ did for the vajayjay,” says JaneKansas. “I wanted people to have a chance to hear stories about assholes because for me, anyway, I don’t talk very much about my asshole and I don’t very much know about the state of other peoples’ assholes and so I thought this would kind of be a chance to break the ice.”

Other stories are told from the perspective of a girl who loves her dildo and someone on ecstasy, subjects ranging from rimming to old age to skin tags to ass virginity. But it was all technical for the playwright. “For me it was business: ‘I’m writing The Asshole Monologues, I need to hear your story, let’s do this,’” says Kansas of the process. “I’m just like, ‘What can you tell me what it was like the first time you were fucked up your ass?’ And I just sit there with my fingers over the keyboard and they would start talking. And it’s all, ‘Oh, excuse me—would you have been on your hands and knees then?’ It’s all business.”

The play ran for a week during TheSexFestival 2010.