NathanElling

From 1990, when I helped to organize the Gay Games in Vancouver

Nathan Elling

In October, 2022 Nathan writes:

I always knew I was different but I didn’t think it was gay until another kid in junior high in Chicago kissed me behind the nurses’ station. From then I went to a few youth groups, a few juice bars (bars that didn’t serve alcohol and catered to teenagers) and was forced to go see a psychiatrist by my parents! But I lived a very bifurcated life with several girlfriends during high school (also in Chicago) at least two of whom I was in love with (one in high school and one in college - both of whom I’m still in touch with. They’re now both very happily married. Turns out I’m more of Kinsey 5 than a strict 6. I first joined GLAD in 1986 when I began studies at DalhousieUniversity. From that point on I was not just out but political and an activist.

One of the early requests for input from GLAD was from [the Province of Nova Scotia's] Social Services, asking us to send a representative to talk about what University life was like. I was the only person who would agree to speak in front of a crowd so I was chosen. Unfortunately not all the information had been conveyed to me so instead of a small informal group of social workers and therapists I was confronted with about 250 professionals from throughout Nova Scotia and had to ad lib some of my comments. Far from a deterrent though, I began to become engaged in the very political and volatile scene for GLBTQ+ rights in the 1980’s.

From GLAD I also joined “The Word is Out” at CKDU. I worked there until 1988 mostly in a technical capacity, helping to tape shows, splice segments, etc. and occasionally taking over as host when others were out sick or on vacation.

In 1987 I also joined GAE as treasurer. In some ways this was an attempt to “stack the deck” in order to get the resolution to move the current club Rumours (then on Hollis St) into the OldVogueTheatre. The resolution was passed and the move was made, although there was some controversy over it at the time. I had been convinced to make this move by the fact that I thought we could use profits from the club to fund a number of endeavours I thought were very important at the time, including Wayves (the newspaper) where I would help with layout duties, the GayLine and events like the AidsVigil (which I helped BobPetit organize and also gave a Hebrew prayer at).

I also took part in various education efforts around AIDS including both a pamphlet about safe sex practices (as we understood them then) for students at Dalhousie and an information session for the public held at Rumours where a doctor [[DrBob?]] spoke about what we actually understood at the time about AIDS (TL;DR: "not much, make a will.") I was moved to these endeavours because I kept losing friends to the disease and then a personal friend, EricSmith, was outed as being positive and forced to leave his home and job in Shelburne County. I hadn’t even known he was sick at that time. I don’t blame him, there was a lot of stigma, but it shook me. I even went on CBC and CTV and spoke about the unfairness of kicking someone when they’re down and how we weren’t asking for special Gay rights, just hoping to be treated the same as others. This led into helping Father Bob organize the first AIDS Vigil, including reciting a Jewish prayer at the proceedings.

The last group I was involved with was creating Pride, both the 1988 Pride March which I also marched in, and the previous year's 1987 Pride March which 

was just 50 people walking on the street with only small handheld signs. The first one was "unauthorized" and did not have a parade permit. The second one we did properly.

About the 1988 March

Nathan writes:1 So many faces in that picture I know. I went on a few dates with Dan (MichaelWeir's partner) before they met. We became friends but that was it. I still talk to David Backman on occasion. I was speaking to ScottMacNeil before he died, maybe a year before he passed.

Around that same time there was a lot of controversy at GALA (what GAE had become after the move to Gottingen St.) over the firing of ScottMacNeil (then, manager of the bar). I was the Vice-Chair of GALA at the time. I won’t go into much about that period because I liked Scott and we were still Facebook friends up until he died. Suffice it to say that although we’d worked together to try and make the bar a success (including attempting to get some big name stars to perform a special act there - Divine and Bette Middler were both discussed - in order to raise both funds and the profile of the bar as a whole), we were unable to resolve outstanding financial irregularities and I was forced to help fire him. In turn I was sacked from the board by the membership.

Feeling burnt out and rather unappreciated I followed a boyfriend to Vancouver in 1989 where I had a semi-successful career in hospitality (both hotels and bars), a reasonably successful career in real estate and a successful career in IT which brought me to Washington state and eventually to California. In LA I transitioned to a very successful career as a chef and caterer both working for others and with my own company. In 2010 my parents became ill and we compromised on Las Vegas (they were in Ohio). I’ve lived in LV since about 2010, but just recently bought a place on the Fundy Coast near Morden and will retire here while I take care of my Mom. My Dad died in 2019 and Las Vegas has lost its glitter for me.